Dowry, a Deal or Ordeal? Youngsters speak on Malayalee Marriages
In 2008, a girl named Sreelekha, a 26 year old of Kollam, walked out from her marriage ceremony, just as the groom demanded 100 sovereigns of gold just before the knot was tied. She also filed a case against the groom’s family. Sreelekha’s was just one case among the thousands of dowry issues in Kerala in 2008. Now in 2010, if you feel that the situation has improved: think again.
Nowadays dowry in Kerala spans across latest gadgets, automobiles and even amounts to business deals in high profile weddings. Union of two souls? Not anymore. Marriages have become a drain-hole in most nuclear families. Even in 2010, middle class families beg, borrow or take to the streets in their effort to get that daughter of theirs out the door and into the hands of a ‘respectable’ family.
What is young Kerala’s stand on the topic? Not always the groom’s fault, says Aravind (real name withheld), a 22 year old post graduate. “I went with my family members to see a girl for my elder brother”, he says. “We actually had no idea about dowry, as my brother was always against the concept. The members of the girl’s family started the talk beginning at the dowry itself and offered my brother a car and some gold. Most of the families in Kerala consider
this giving and taking process as a status symbol; the more you give or the more you take decides their standing in the society. Most of the educated youth such as myself are not actually interested in this, but they are being compelled to go with the flow and the statement that it is too deep rooted a ‘tradition’. Groom’s families are not always responsible for all issues with regard to the dowry system”.
According to Riya (real name withheld), a girl of 21 years, a groom who demands gold and property as dowry is never interested in life after marriage. For them, it is simply a business deal just like any other trade. That kind of marriage will result only in misunderstandings and dowry crimes once married. The other side of the issue is that even if the grooms never demand, then too the girl’s family offers dowry since they are afraid that their daughter will be tortured for the dowry by her husband and in-laws. This is something that happens even if the girl is not interested in the dowry system.
The government for most is doing its part to the curb the state of affairs which is taking a turn for the worse. The government’s Dowry Prohibition Act 961 and the youth focused anti-dowry campaigns initiated this year may help to an extent. The Nilamboor village of Malappuram became the first to take the initiative to become a dowry free village in April this year, proving that anything is possible if tried hard enough.
But what about us doing our bit? Like all practices, dowry too begins at home. For those who claim that nothing can be done about the situation, here is an eye-opener. CPM secretary Pinarayi Vijayan, in a much respected move, had an extremely low-key ceremony for his daughter’s marriage. If not for any other reason, then at least with respect to this we can look up to Vijayan and take some notes from his journal.
Caesarean rates: Kerala reaches the pinnacle
Kerala’s music reality shows: Real or Dramatized?
Malayalam actors and their Twitter trends
Car rental services in Kerala offer convenience to a short term visitor
Keltron launches SANJEEVANI, a unique Life Detecting Device
Film industry returns to the Capital after an interval
Comparing the parks
FM Trends in Kerala